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What Happened to October?

October 23, 2012

I know.  After months of doing a good job of blogging regularly, I’ve fallen a bit behind.  I’ve had good intentions.  I’ve had blog worthy thoughts.  I just haven’t taken the time to sit down at the computer, mostly because despite good intentions and blog worthy thoughts I wasn’t sure what to say.

A couple of things have been percolating this month of October.  I’ve been thinking a lot about generosity (and a favorite church phrase these days–Generous Generosity).   We are having a church-wide book study this month to launch our stewardship campaign on Robert Schnase’s book, Extravagant Generosity.  Consequently, I’ve thought about generosity and tithing a lot this month.  I’ve felt a lot of guilt and rather uncomfortable, neither of which is particularly bad.  I’ve drafted umpteen posts in my head about my struggles with both generosity and tithing.

I also mistakenly watched a documentatary on PBS at the beginning of the month.  I had full intentions of watching Castle, but for some reason ambled through our 6 stations (plus their substations) on my way to Richard Castle and Beckett.  I got distracted on PBS with the Independent Lens film, Half the Sky.  The subject of the film, which if you haven’t watched, you totally should!, was about women around the world.  It focused on the challenges that women face and the human rights violations they are frequently subject to.  I was moved more than I’ve been in a while.  It stuck in my head, as often happens when I learn the world isn’t necessarily as good of a place as I think.  On Friday, one of the blogs I regularly checked mentioned that the kindle version of Half the Church, which was written in response the documentary I viewed, was on sale for $1.99.  I bought it.  It seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore.  For the past few weeks I’ve been slowly reading Half the Church, which uses the Bible to back up why women need to be involved in the church, why women need to be leaders, why women need to be strong warriors in defense of the persecuted and the least of these.  I’ve been thinking a lot, consequently, of what that means for me.  I’ve realized the importance of the feminist movement and how fortunate I’ve been to have crazy, strong women in my family whose husbands didn’t hinder them from fighting the battles they felt called to fight.

We’ve also been camping in West Texas in the darkest part of the continental US.  We realized how much we need camping to breathe.  We need camping to function as family, to take time to be thankful for God’s glorious masterpiece in all its variety, and to be happier in our every day lives.

I went to my high school reunion.  I was reminded how much I’ve grown (thank you, God!) since high school.  What I saw as black and white, I now realize that a vast array of brilliant and bright colors stand between.  I was so sure in high school, now, not nearly so much.  That’s a good thing.  I thought about my alcohol paper and how I said I would never, ever drink.  Ooops.  I missed that one.  I thought about how I needed to be loud and be noticed in high school.  Now, not so much.  My dear, lifelong friend spoke in her young alumna of the year speech about why the high school was so important to her, and I nodded my head along with her, realizing again that we all need to feel loved.

That’s it.  Only those things, plus my husband has been traveling more and working late more, but who wants to hear about that?  I suspect soon there will be a generosity post or two coming because that just won’t leave me alone.  I also suspect you may hear about Half the Church and strong, strong women.  I’m hoping a bit more time with both of those will lead my words down a coherent path (I suspect I would be less than coherent on the subjects right now).

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