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Day 9-Friends

November 10, 2013


I am a slow one to make friends.  I won’t get into all the reasons behind that…traumatizing middle school years should just be left behind…however, I am slow.  I often look at other women and think, “I could never be friends with that woman,”  not because the other woman isn’t good enough for me but because I am not good enough.  I am not a girly girl who enjoys shopping or decorating or pop culture.  I very rarely look “put together,” unlike most other women I know.  So I don’t try, because surely they won’t like me.

But.  Something inevitably happens.  I discover the three perfectly matched boys of a totally put together professional woman are just as nuts as my three kids.  I discover a put together exterior doesn’t equal an uptight, controlling personality.  I discover that the perfectly matching, hair always done woman has a son so similar to my mine that we start talking.  I realize we have more in common than I ever imagined.  I discover that the cool hipster woman and I share a love of cooking in food, plus boys of similar ages, and a love of sports.  I discover the former collegiate athlete who looks so with it all the time laughs when stuff gets rough, is as self-depricating as I am, and is always there with a casserole or cookies when things get rough.  I discover the woman with the perfectly decorated and always straightened (and cleaned!) house lets me into said house when she isn’t home to borrow a container of Greek yogurt for supper so I don’t need to go to the store at 5:30 with three hungry, tired kids.  I discover the quiet, artistic woman has a daughter a lot like mine and we both like walking, reading, and end up going to yoga together.

So it happens.  I end up with a community of women.  I end up with friends, some of which I never would have imagined that I could be friends with, because I wasn’t good enough.  I end up with girlfriends I go out to eat with monthly to enjoy good food (hopefully), wine, laughter, and support.  I end up continuing to make new friends as I take that risk and talk to that woman who has really nice workout clothes that she can wear in public with self-confidence.  I discover we have something in common.  We can be friends.  I am not better or worse than she is and we are all in need of a little support and friends who have our back.

Today I am thankful for my friends–my friends who have known me for more than 20 years and the friends I am still in the process of making.  I am thankful for the friends who I look similar to and to friends who look better than me on the worst day than I do on my best.  I am thankful for friends who ask if I am feeling better after being sick and who insist they don’t want to get our families together without me.  I am blessed.

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